* Probably one of the best teachers ever portrayed , and here he gave a real message:
Well, I... I don't know how to answer you, except to say that I teach you truths. My truths. Yeah, and it is kinda scary, dealing with the truth. Scary, and dangerous... Mark Thackeray ~ To Sir With Love
I seriously think humanity has always been in a period of questioning it's life here on Earth, it's purpose and reason for it's existence. It is only now that as we age and get closer to the other side that everything becomes more in perspective and gets examined under a magnifying glass with quite some zeal .
My life, our lives, have been turned upside down in the last month , and although I hate to be writing this all gloom and doom, I find it a must to relate my feelings openly in black and white, even if no one reads it. Relating a moment of life in diary ,a simple brief release of emotion written in ink but really written from the heart.
I have other means of elevating emotion and rendering my body and soul some space for healing but words today are my escape, more like , a temporary patch to remedy my problems. Writing is a form of art, an immediate way to express what one feels inside ; painting maybe it's parallel but I've chosen to use the keyboard.
So here is what has transpired and is transpiring at this time. It may make you feel sorry and sad for all affected and perhaps give you a clearer picture of your own life ; for better or worse, hopefully for the better.
There has been many health issues in our immediate family and extended families but 2010/2011 has got to be the worse! Looking back a few years ago I was hospitalized for endometriosis with entangled organs having to undergo a hysterectomy. Then knee surgery followed and was diagnosed with Rheumatic Arthritis , rampant cholesterol and diabetes not to mention dealing with a herniated disc which now I have learned my aunt who is three years younger than myself happens to have as well . Needless to say , in both our cases they are inoperable. Then last fall, after holidaying in the Dominican Republic my mom contracted an ecoli infection and suffered innumerable set backs and was hospitalized for quite some time. While all this was happening my husband was diagnosed with some form of heart ailment which to this day is still under investigation , possible ARVC , now both our kids and my husband's two sisters need to be tested .
In October my son suffered a concussion a day before hubby was going in for eye surgery. Thankfully he was okay. The following day my husband had a Pterygium removed from his retina ( a growth caused by uv radiation) but a week later suffered a retina detachment in the other eye . After gas bubbles didn't work he was admitted that same week for emergency surgery and both his eyes were operated on. He still needs cataract surgery, what he initially had gone in for in the first place. Then in November our friend and neighbour suffered an aneurysm and died leaving behind a wife and three boys; his boys lost their first mom 14 years ago. My dad was diagnosed with cancer on his nose and was also operated the same month but quickly fell ill a few days later with double pneumonia and water under his heart and lungs, remaining in hospital for over a month. And my sister and her partner both have had their share of troubles and tribulations.My sister's partner also had to have a partial hysterectomy , while my sister ,for some time now has been dealing with severe depression. But out of all these problems the big one hit us January 4 /2011. My stepdad was taken by paramedics to hospital when his speech and reasoning seemed incoherent, prognosis Glioblastoma. Needless to say after a lengthy operation to extract the tumour (6 hours) I was unaware that my blood pressure had surged to a very dangerous level and was told to stay home, rest and take medication to elevate the anxiety. So I have followed doctor's orders , you're no good to anyone if you yourself is incapacitated and at the moment there are so many more underlining issues that are also of concern but I must push them aside for now in my best interest, a little selfish I know, but I have no choice if I want to be here for my myself and my family.
And so , just being able to write this is a start to healing from the initial shock of what has transgressed in our lives and like I quoted Pasternack in my previous post "You must never, never despair, whatever the circumstances. To hope and to act are our duties in misfortune. To do nothing and to despair is to neglect our duty."
is something we all must always remember to do, even as hard as it gets. I promise that for myself and you the reader my next post will be one of positive nature and hopefully give inspiration and joy, until then God Bless.
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